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<title>The View From Halfway Down by Anonymous</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22535272">The View From Halfway Down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work, Ruru's Suicide Show on a Livestream (Music Video)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Gen, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 13:07:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22535272</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was only halfway down when she realized her mistake. (At least the sunrise was kind to her today.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The View From Halfway Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was scared.</p>
<p>Most people her age would be. The view of the way down was so clear to her… and she wondered what it would feel like.</p>
<p>(It would only hurt for a second, right?)</p>
<p>She stood up on the trashcan and surveyed the area surrounding her with heavy eyes. Who would miss her? Would they make stories about her? The girl who jumped down because she could?</p>
<p>“I will become a legend,” she said, her tiny voice breaking the silence of the night.</p>
<p>(Don’t do it. She wouldn’t. She’s just seeking attention, like all idols do. I bet you she won’t do it. Don’t do it! Don’t—)</p>
<p>Her death will mean something. Others will remember her.</p>
<p>(They’d have to, wouldn’t they? They’d have to listen then, when it was already too late. But at least they’d be listening.)</p>
<p>They were watching.</p>
<p>(But they weren’t listening. Why wouldn’t they just <em>listen</em> to her?)</p>
<p>She’ll give them the show they want.</p>
<p>(It’s all anyone wanted her for, anyways.)</p>
<p>She took the leap.</p>
<p>Freedom. Exhilaration. She was flying—her hair blew in the wind with the force of the air hitting her face and all her past worries were instantly washed away by her resolve.</p>
<p>(She did it. Now nobody can’t say she couldn’t.)</p>
<p>She did it. There was no taking it back now.</p>
<p>(Nobody can say she did or wanted to.)</p>
<p>She thought about her mother. She thought about her friends, and about what her life meant. Did it mean anything? Would people read her story and think about her sometimes?</p>
<p>(Of course, they would. They had to.)</p>
<p>Would they wonder about what was going through her mind in that moment? As she was falling down and her vision was blurring as everything became one glorious mess?</p>
<p>She screamed.</p>
<p>(Why was she screaming? Wasn’t this everything she ever wanted? It would all be over soon.)</p>
<p>She screamed. Her voice rang out, and she screamed. She screamed for the happiness in her life, the happiness that meant nothing and the lack of happiness she couldn’t seem to find in her life.</p>
<p>(She was panicking now. She screamed, but nobody could save her now. Least of all those people who she thought mattered but they don’t. They never did.)</p>
<p>She covered her face.</p>
<p>(What was happening? Would it hurt? Would it hurt forever?)</p>
<p>Nobody ever told her how horrible the view from halfway down would look.</p>
<p>(This wasn’t she wanted. This was never what she wanted. She wanted to be remembered, she wanted her death to mean something. But would it matter if her life never did?)</p>
<p>The ground was coming closer.</p>
<p>(She wasn’t flying.)</p>
<p>She wished she could be back there, on the balcony. She wished she could have made that choice—</p>
<p>(What other choice did she have?)</p>
<p>A lot—</p>
<p>(The ground was coming closer.)</p>
<p>She screamed.</p>
<p>(Why? Why would life be so cruel to her?)</p>
<p>Please God, don’t make it hurt.</p>
<p>(She was sorry. She was sorry for making that decision. She wanted to take it back, please…)</p>
<p>The pain will stop soon. It will.</p>
<p>(But so will everything else.)</p>
<p>The sun was only sometimes her friend, and she thought she could see a light coming from the sky—the sun rising just beyond the horizon.</p>
<p>(No, the sun never rose that early.)</p>
<p>At least the sun would be there to witness her fall.</p>
<p>(She wouldn’t be dying alone. No. Never her.)</p>
<p>Sorry. She was sorry.</p>
<p>(God said sorry back for not letting her take it back.)</p>
<p>At least, that was what she’d hope he’d be saying.</p>
<p>The ground was coming clo—</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Argentina: +5402234930430<br/>Australia: 131114<br/>Austria: 142; for children and young people, 147<br/>Belgium: 106<br/>Bosnia &amp; Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05<br/>Botswana: 3911270<br/>Brazil: 188 for the CVV National Association<br/>Canada: 1.833.456.4566, 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)<br/>Chile: 600 360 777<br/>Croatia: 014833888<br/>Denmark: +4570201201<br/>Egypt: 7621602<br/>Estonia: 3726558088; in Russian 3726555688<br/>Finland: 010 195 202<br/>France: 0145394000<br/>Germany: 08001810771<br/>Holland: 09000767<br/>Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000<br/>Hungary: 116123<br/>India: 8888817666<br/>Ireland: +4408457909090<br/>Italy: 800860022<br/>Japan: +810352869090<br/>Mexico: 5255102550<br/>New Zealand: 0800543354<br/>Norway: +4781533300<br/>Philippines: 028969191<br/>Poland: 5270000<br/>Portugal: 21 854 07 40/8 . 96 898 21 50<br/>Russia: 0078202577577<br/>Spain: 914590050<br/>South Africa: 0514445691<br/>Sweden: 46317112400<br/>Switzerland: 143<br/>United Kingdom: 08457909090<br/>USA: 18002738255<br/>Veterans' Crisis Line: 1 800 273 8255/ text 838255</p></blockquote></div></div>
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